Family and Child Consultants

I’ve seen Sydney Sweeney’s new Novig sports betting ad. The sports equipment is doing a considerable amount of work covering her body. Presumably the wardrobe department got the afternoon off. And honestly? I’m tired. Not just “another sexualised advertising campaign” tired. Actual tired. The kind women bring to the gym after working, organising children, supporting family members and answering a message that begins, “Just wondering if you could…” No. Nobody is just wondering. They want something. Now apparently we’re meant to fit being a sports-themed fantasy into the schedule as well. Have you seen the schedule? The women I want to talk about aren’t standing on Olympic podiums. They’re the women who manage to get to a class between finishing work and making dinner. The women who organise childcare to have an hour to themselves. The women who turn up early because, once the rest of the house wakes up, their time belongs to everyone else. For some of us, getting through the gym door ...

  There are some moments in parenting when you realise your child is not simply competitive. They are emotionally invested in a way that suggests the outcome of Uno will determine the future of the free world. They have one card left. You place down your final card. You say, “Uno!” And suddenly you are standing in the kitchen while a small person looks at you as though you have committed an unforgivable act. “You CHEATED.” “I did not cheat.” “You always win.” “I have won exactly once.” “I am never playing this game again.” And there it is: the important life lesson nobody enjoys in the moment. Sometimes you lose. Sometimes your sibling gets the last piece of cake. Sometimes your team does not win. Sometimes the claw machine takes your $4 and gives you absolutely nothing except a growing distrust of capitalism. And learning to cope with that is an important part of growing up. Losing feels big when you are little For children, losing can feel genuinely enormous. They may not yet hav...

  There are some things in life that should be non-negotiable. Seatbelts. Sunscreen. A responsible adult knowing where the children are. And fairy bread at a child’s birthday party. I said what I said. A kids’ party without fairy bread is not necessarily a bad party. But it does raise questions. Important questions. Like: where are the triangles? Where are the hundreds and thousands? Why has someone served a grazing platter that looks like it belongs at a corporate retreat? Children’s parties are meant to be a little bit magical. They are allowed to include bright icing, sausage rolls, party pies, cupcakes with more sprinkles than structural integrity and a lolly bag that will mysteriously disappear before anyone gets back into the car. And yes—party food is okay. It is one party, not a lifestyle Somewhere along the way, parties became stressful. Parents are now expected to organise food that is fun, healthy, allergy-aware, Instagram-worthy, low-mess, low-sugar, high-protein, natur...

  Paying for a professional report can feel like a big step. Whether it is prepared by an allied health professional, consultant or family service provider, people often seek a report because they are looking for clarity, progress or support for an important decision. When a report does not recommend the outcome someone hoped for, it can feel deeply disappointing. Sometimes it can feel unfair. Recently, we worked with a family who had made progress in their supervised access arrangements. Understandably, everyone wanted to see the family move forward. No parent wants their time with their child to remain supervised, and no child wants their family relationships to feel formal, observed or restricted. Supervised access is not a natural long-term arrangement for children or families. At Family and Child Consultants, we want to do ourselves out of a job. The best outcome is always for a family to build the safety, trust, consistency and capacity needed so supervision is no longer requ...