Family and Child Consultants

  This week, Pauline Hanson suggested that women experiencing domestic and family violence should simply leave. One of my clients did leave. She did not announce her departure, pack every possession, or walk away with financial security and a clear plan for the future. She quietly gathered what she could safely take and escaped with her infant child. That decision required courage, planning and an acceptance that she might have to leave most of her life behind. What she did not know at the time was that leaving the house would not mean escaping the abuse. After the separation, she discovered thousands of dollars in credit-card debt that had been accumulated in her name. She also found thousands of dollars in unpaid tolls, fines and other liabilities. Even after the relationship had ended, further debts and penalties continued to appear under her identity. Three years later, the abuse has still not ended. It has simply changed form. Her former partner contacts police and requests we...

  Working in supervised contact, you see families at some of the most difficult times in their lives. You witness heartbreak, conflict, healing, and resilience. You also see parents who will move mountains for their children, despite the challenges they face. But over the years, there is one behaviour that has stayed with me because of the damage it causes. It isn't the arguments between adults. It isn't the court proceedings. It isn't even the tears that sometimes accompany a goodbye. It's when a parent intentionally tries to make their child miserable before a visit—or when the visit ends—not because they are concerned about the child's wellbeing, but because they want to hurt the other parent. I've seen children questioned repeatedly before a visit: "You don't really want to go, do you?" "You don't have to have fun." "Remember what they did to us." I've seen children arrive carrying the emotional weight of one parent...

  By Niki Gent I had my grandson for the school holidays this week. Not for a few hours. Not for a sleepover. For the first time... Without Mum. Now, I like to think I'm a pretty capable person. I run a business, work with families every day, manage staff, write reports, solve problems and somehow keep all the balls in the air. So naturally, I thought, "How hard can this be?" Apparently... quite hard. I discovered that little boys have two speeds. Fast. And asleep. There doesn't appear to be an "in-between." Within ten minutes we'd read 3 books, negotiated over snacks, found three cars and somehow I'd already said, "Please don't climb on that," at least seventeen times. I honestly don't remember my own children having this much energy. I'm sure they did. I've probably just blocked it out. At one point, I stood up from the floor after playing cars for what felt like three days but was apparently only twenty-five minutes. Ever...