A Letter for Those Missing Someone at the Table This Year





To you, the one who feels the empty chair before the meal is even served—

As the world around us leans into celebration and togetherness, you may find yourself bracing for a quieter space, a hush where laughter once rang, or a pause where a familiar voice used to fill the room. This year, the table might look the same, but it feels so different. And if you’re reading this, you’re not alone in that ache.

Grief has a way of settling in the spaces we wish it wouldn’t—the holidays, the rituals, the moments that feel like they should be whole. When someone is missing, it’s not just their seat that’s empty, but the stories they told, the warmth they brought, the way they shaped the day for everyone around them. Their absence is felt in the quiet, in the clatter of cutlery, in the memories that surface unbidden.

It’s okay if you don’t feel festive. It’s okay if you want to speak their name, share their favourite dish, or leave their chair just as it always was. It’s okay if you need a moment to step away, to cry, or to simply sit with your memories. Grief isn’t something we get over; it’s something we learn to carry. Sometimes, it’s heavier at this time of year.

If you can, let others know what you need. Maybe it’s a story about the person you’re missing, maybe it’s silence, maybe it’s a walk after dinner or a gentle reminder that you’re doing the best you can. Your experience is valid. Your love for them is not diminished by time or distance or the passage of another year.

This letter is for you, a gentle companion in your sadness. May you find a small comfort in knowing that others, too, are holding space for those who are missing. May you feel your loved one’s presence in the ways that matter most to you—a favourite song, a shared joke, a memory that brings a smile through tears.

You are not alone at your table, even if it feels that way. Your grief is heard, your love is honoured, and your courage in showing up for another year is seen.

With compassion and understanding,

Niki

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Letter to the Family of Gus: From One Grandmother’s Heart

Image
To Gus’s Mum, Dad, and Grandparents, I write this as a grandmother, my hands shaking, my heart aching for you in ways words will never truly capture. I know what it is to love a child so fiercely that their laughter is the music of your soul and their absence is a silence that screams. To the Grandparents You opened your home—the safe haven, the place of adventure and gentle spoiling—for your precious grandson. The place where little feet patter down hallways, where stories are told, and where the world is meant to be small and safe. Now, every corner of your home echoes with the memory of Gus: his giggle in the sand, his curls shining in the sun, the last time you saw him—so ordinary, so unremarkable, so heartbreakingly final. I can’t imagine the weight you carry. The questions that haunt you: If only I’d watched a moment longer. If only I’d held his hand. If only, if only, if only. The guilt that isn’t yours to bear, but which clings anyway, heavy and relentless. The world will never...
Read more

Get Your Sh*t Together: A Rant for Deadbeat Parents

Image
  By Niki Gent, Family & Child Consultants Let’s cut straight to it—because honestly, I’m tired of sugar-coating what needs to be said. If you’re a parent who’s checked out, dodging your responsibilities, or pretending your kids don’t exist unless it’s convenient for you: it’s time for a wake-up call. Yes, I’m talking to you—the parent who hasn’t seen their child in months (or years), who “forgets” to pay child support, who ghosts on school events, birthdays, and the hard conversations. The parent who acts like parenting is optional, like it’s something you can dip in and out of depending on your mood or your new relationship status. I hear the excuses every day: “It’s complicated with my ex.” “I’m busy with work.” “The kids don’t want to see me anyway.” “I can’t afford it right now.” “They’re better off without me.” Guess what? Your kids notice. They notice who shows up, who calls, who pays attention. And they notice who doesn’t. Parenting Isn’t a Subscription Service You don’...
Read more

What Happens When You Finally Listen to Your Body

Image
  What Happens When You Finally Listen to Your Body By Niki Gent There’s a voice we’ve been taught to ignore. It’s not loud. It doesn’t shout. It doesn’t use clever language. But it’s always talking. Whispering, humming, sometimes screaming — through tight shoulders, shallow breathing, racing thoughts, clenched jaws, aching backs, insomnia. It’s the voice of the body. And most of us only start to hear it when it’s too late. In my work, I sit with people every day who are exhausted, anxious, disconnected — from themselves, their work, their families. They talk about burnout, about hitting a wall, about losing motivation. And more often than not, they’ll say something like: “I thought I was fine… until I wasn’t.” The truth is, their body had been trying to tell them the truth for months — sometimes years. But we live in a culture that values output over embodiment. We’re told to keep going, keep working, keep coping, keep serving — even as our bodies quietly begin to unravel. So what...
Read more