Get Your Sh*t Together: A Rant for Deadbeat Parents

 



By Niki Gent, Family & Child Consultants

Let’s cut straight to it—because honestly, I’m tired of sugar-coating what needs to be said. If you’re a parent who’s checked out, dodging your responsibilities, or pretending your kids don’t exist unless it’s convenient for you: it’s time for a wake-up call.
Yes, I’m talking to you—the parent who hasn’t seen their child in months (or years), who “forgets” to pay child support, who ghosts on school events, birthdays, and the hard conversations. The parent who acts like parenting is optional, like it’s something you can dip in and out of depending on your mood or your new relationship status.
I hear the excuses every day:
  • “It’s complicated with my ex.”
  • “I’m busy with work.”
  • “The kids don’t want to see me anyway.”
  • “I can’t afford it right now.”
  • “They’re better off without me.”
Guess what? Your kids notice. They notice who shows up, who calls, who pays attention. And they notice who doesn’t.

Parenting Isn’t a Subscription Service

You don’t get to pick and choose the months you want to be involved. You don’t get to cancel when it’s inconvenient. Kids need consistency, not cameos. They need parents who show up even when it’s hard, even when it’s messy, even when you’d rather be anywhere else.

Money Matters—But So Does Showing Up

Yes, child support is about money. But it’s also about respect—respect for your kids, for the other parent, and for yourself. If you’re not paying what you owe, you’re not just dodging a bill, you’re sending a message: “You’re not my priority.” Is that really who you want to be?

“They Don’t Want to See Me” Is a Cop-Out

Maybe things are strained. Maybe your kids are angry, hurt, or distant. Guess what? That’s not a signal to give up—it’s a signal to try harder. Kids push away when they’re disappointed; they test you to see if you’ll really stick around. Prove them wrong. Be the parent who doesn’t quit.

The Truth Hurts—But It’s Not Too Late

Here’s the thing: you can change. You can pick up the phone. You can show up to the next school event. You can start paying what you owe. You can apologize. You can be better.
And if you don’t know how? Ask for help. That’s what we’re here for. Family and Child Consultants isn’t about shaming—it’s about helping people step up, heal, and do better. But you have to take the first step.

Get Your Sh*t Together—For Your Kids

Parenting isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. So if you’re reading this and feeling uncomfortable—good. That means you care, even if you haven’t shown it lately. Now, do something about it.
Your kids are waiting.



About Niki Gent
Niki Gent is the founder of Family and Child Consultants, a straight-talking, trauma-informed social worker with decades of experience helping families break cycles and rebuild trust. She’s seen the best and worst of parenting—and believes everyone can do better, starting today.

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