Leadership in Crisis Isn’t About Being Right — It’s About Being Real

 


Leadership in Crisis Isn’t About Being Right — It’s About Being Real

By Niki Gent

When everything is falling apart — the phones are ringing, staff are burning out, a client is in crisis, or the media is circling — the temptation is to tighten your grip.
To jump into action.
To deliver a polished statement.
To look like you’ve got it together.
Because somewhere, we’ve been taught that leadership in chaos means control.
That being strong means being certain.
That to lead well, we must have the right answer — quickly, cleanly, and without emotion.

But that model of leadership?
It’s outdated. And it’s damaging.

Because in real-world crises — the kind we face every day in human services — there is rarely a single right answer.
There is complexity. There is emotion. There are people who are hurting.
And in those moments, your team isn’t looking for perfection.
They’re looking for presence.

🎯 What People Need from Leaders in Crisis

They need someone who will say, “I don’t have all the answers, but I’m here, and I care.”
They need someone who can tolerate discomfort, model calm, and validate distress.
They need someone who doesn’t pretend the mess isn’t happening — but who stays in it with them.

Real leadership in crisis means:

  • Being real, not right.

  • Listening before speaking.

  • Admitting mistakes.

  • Showing emotion — with boundaries.

  • Asking, “What do you need right now?” instead of delivering a speech.

💬 What This Looks Like in Practice

In a team debrief after a critical incident, a "being right" leader says:

“Here’s what happened, here’s what we’ll do next, questions at the end.”

A "being real" leader says:

“This has been incredibly hard. I know some of you are feeling shaken. Let’s talk about what support you need before we make any decisions.”

In a supervision session, a "being right" leader says:

“Next time, follow the procedure more closely.”

A "being real" leader says:

“I understand why you made that call — and I know how heavy it’s been. Let’s look at how we could do it differently with the support you need.”

🧠 Why Being Real Works

When we show up with humanity, we create psychological safety — the kind of environment where people feel safe to speak up, reflect, and recover.

We model emotional regulation.
We de-escalate stress instead of adding to it.
We build trust, not fear.

And ironically, the more real we are, the more effective we become. Because people don’t follow titles — they follow authenticity.

⚠️ What It’s Not

Being real doesn’t mean being uncontained.
It doesn’t mean collapsing into emotion or projecting panic onto your team.
It doesn’t mean making it all about you.

It means acknowledging reality, owning your part, and leading with heart as well as head.

🛠️ A Few Practical Strategies

  • Start with transparency: “Here’s what I know, and here’s what I don’t.”

  • Ask instead of assuming: “What’s landing hardest for you right now?”

  • Create structure for reflection: Crisis debriefs. Peer support. Slower meetings.

  • Model boundaries: “I care deeply, and I also need to step away for 15 minutes to gather myself.”

  • Name the human moments: “This is hard. You’re not alone.”

💡 A Final Thought

Crisis doesn’t require certainty. It requires courage.
And courage doesn’t always roar — sometimes it whispers:

“I’m scared too, but I’m staying.”
“Let’s figure this out together.”
“We’ve got each other.”

Because the best leaders I’ve known weren’t the ones who always had the right plan.
They were the ones who knew when to stop performing, start listening, and hold space for people to be exactly where they are.

And in doing so, they built something much stronger than authority.

They built trust.

About the Author,

Niki has worked in Child Protection, Family Law, Juvenile Justice and NDIS for over 20 years.  Having worked extensively with families, government departments, not for profits and privately owned large and small businesses, Niki understands the needs of families, the pressures of compliance, quality and sustainability, and the need to work smart, be resilient, and know who we work for and who we work with.


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