How to cope with a difficult boss.





                                        How to cope with a difficult boss.

 

Do you ever feel like Nick and Kurt in the movie horrible bosses?

 

Well don't manage may not force you to drink 18-year-old Scotch at 8:00 AM or fire “that people,” they may be difficult in other ways. Perhaps they bully subordinates, micromanage, or take your ideas and pass them off to senior management as their own. Or maybe they're just merely incompetent.

 

Regardless of the circumstances, dealing with the boss isn't easy, especially in today's world. Fortunately, quitting isn't always the answer. There are always ways to find common ground and build a healthy working relationship.

 

Believe it or not there actually is a science behind whether managers and direct reports get along. Dr Sherry Maloff, author of Science and the leader follower relationship, has identified 7 implicit social elements - or building blocks of workplace relationships. They are unconscious and play out one way or another in all leader follower relationships.

 

 

Here are some practical recommendations for dealing with the difficult boss:

 

Establish trust.

Common sense tells us that when there is more trust, there is a stronger relationship. One study revealed that oxytocin is released by the brain when a signal of trust is received, leading to increased cooperation. Research also supports that trust is built through acts of reciprocity.  Being trusted - or feeling that requests are fulfilled without threats to gain compliance - actually activates the brain's reward region.

 

To build trust with a difficult boss:

·      try to be genuine and authentic.

·      Trust that your boss will attempt to do the right thing.

·      If trust is damaged, look for ways to repair it.

 

Create fairness.

Famous refers to the impartial or just treatment of others. It can mean different things to different people.

 

A few ideas to create a sense of fairness include:

·      suggest to your manager that the team discuss what it means to be treated fairly

·      if you feel that you haven't been treated fairly, talk to your manager, and explain why.

·      Also, be fair with your boss and give them the benefit of the doubt.

 

Practise self-control.

Self-control enables both leaders in direct reports to process from emotions productively. It's essential to become neutral about your difficult boss because reacting, even just internally, we can do. By actively managing your feelings, we can achieve a common powerful presence, which helps to create successful outcomes.

 

Maloff offers some tips for practising self-control around a difficult boss:

·      don't be afraid to show what you are passionate about but don't go over the top.

·      If your manager is upset, use active listening to help then calm down.

·      Manage your thoughts and emotions. Don't get angry and raise your voice.

 

Build empathy.

Empathy is the awareness, understanding, and sharing of another’s feelings. It is the idea of being able to walk in someone else's shoes - letting go of our own needs, beliefs, and judgement so we can be open to someone else's perception of reality.  Maloff suggests booking some time to get to know your boss. Ask open-ended questions and make sure you understand why your boss thinks the way that they do.

 

 

Here are some additional ways to build empathy when you're dealing with a difficult boss:

·      be kind, genuine, and caring. Value your managers opinions, needs, ideas, and feelings.

·      Pay attention to what your leader is feeling as well as what they're saying.

·      Notice when your boss is having trouble and take the time to understand the situation before making any suggestions.

 

Develop reciprocity

Reciprocity Is the exchange of favours, acts of kindness, gifts, and more. A recent study actually refers to it as a central feature of human nature that creates social stability.

 

Maloff Offers these tips to build reciprocity with your manager:

·      say positive things about your difficult boss to other people in the organisation.

·      Keep your bus the benefit of the doubt. They believe in you, so you should try and believe in them.

·      If your boss is trying to implement a new procedure, policy, or practise, encourage and help by being open, supportive, and creative.

 

Increase status.

Maloff describes status as” measured by how much an individual feels accepted by others, as well as his or her place or position in the group. Status is the element that makes us sensitive to hierarchy and our place in it.” 

 

Some ways to increase status with your manager include:

·      believe in yourself.

·      Listen to and accept three back. Then act on the feedback to Better yourself.

·      do things for the greater good of the team. Be generous with your time.

 

Foster mutual respect.

What Maloff terms “mutual recognition respect” means valuing another person simply because they are human beings. This concept focuses on human worth as opposed to an assessment of capabilities. Find appear of someone who has a good relationship with your boss, ask them for advice on what you can do differently. Get another person's perspective on not only what you are doing that could be causing the problems with the relationship, but also what they're doing to build strong relationships with your boss.

 

You can also build mutual respect with your difficult boss by following this advice:

·      don't talk over, interrupt, or argue with them.

·      Don't talk about them behind their backs.

·      Accept that they are doing the best they can, given who they are.

 

The important thing to remember is that relationships are a two-way St. By meeting your manager halfway, you will increase your chances of building a lasting personal and professional relationship. 



Niki has worked in Child Protection, Family Law, Juvenile Justice and NDIS for over 19 years.  Having worked extensively with families, government departments, not for profits and privately owned large and small businesses, Niki understands the needs of families, the pressures of compliance, quality and sustainability, and the need to work smart, be resilient, and know who we work for and who we work with.


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