When the workplace shares a Loss.



When the workplace shares a Loss.

For a number of years now I've worked with in the community sector, and sadly I had been part of workplaces which have experienced the death of colleagues and participants.

It's important to recognise that when a workplace grieves the loss of a colleague or a participant, to do this type of grieving requires a level of sharing that is not common in the workplace. Most everyone will experience personal grief and loss during their career, but usually we mourn in private rather than at the office. We take leave to cope with the loss of a family member and though our Co-workers share their condolences with us, it's something we process on our own.  Why? Because we may worry that personal grief may be seen as unseemly at work and worrisome to our colleagues. We - or they - may be concerned that they can't share or even understand our feelings, that our tears or sadness may seem unprofessional, or that our minds are simply not in the right place for the time being pulled stop so we may soldier on alone or try to exhibit only an upbeat persona at work while accepting the kind wishes of our co-workers.

By contrast, workplaces which experienced the death of a colleague, or a participant are united in grief. When a workgroup loses one of its own, group members can and should acknowledge their mutual grief, gaining comfort from sharing, not shoring away, their feelings and thoughts. A sad as the loss maybe to the team into those connected to it, there is mutual benefit in coping with grief as a group. From my experience in my work with others, I would suggest that teams observe four elements of the mourning process.

1. Acknowledging:

it's important to the group to communicate the situation that they're in, both internally and to the outside world. In saying so, the group let's it be known that an event has occurred that has touched them. Internally, the group experiences of solidarity in proclaiming this. Externally, those outside the team are informed that they can offer their condolences, acknowledge their own feelings, and feel more connected on a human level to the team that they have now no and only through their business transactions.


2. Permitting:

when a colleague is died, the workplace should become a setting in which grief can be expressed and co-workers can openly empathise with each other. People shouldn't mourn behind closed doors, holed up in their offices or in the car on the way home. The group can get together in one place or, if team members are remote, connect via email or video conference - any medium that brings together employees in every location. Managers should emphasise that it's alright to be touched by grief and that it's a good thing for the group to share their feelings.


3. Celebrating:

Loss also provides an opportunity to celebrate life. From casual conversation to formal memorial services, people acknowledge their sadness while remembering What the person meant to them.  Whether such celebrations of a person's contribution are broad reaching or simply shared among a small group of co-workers, they can be important part of the mourning process. Colleagues can come together and share their gratitude, with each other in the world, for the time they had together with a special person in their work lives.


4. Choosing:

Grief and mourning do not end overnight. As the initial grief becomes less acute, it can be time for the group to choose ways of remembering their colleague. An ongoing ritual remembrance and observances often a good way for a work group to carry forward the meaning of that person’s life.

For any team experiencing a loss that touches all its members, there is opportunity to confide in one another, to grieve together, to come together to celebrate a life and to choose to keep doing so. Uniquely sad, this event can also be an opportunity for the team to honour the colleague that they have lost, to further the care and respect they maintain for each other, and to consider the meaningful ways that their memory can live on.

This article is written in memory of “Chicken” - you made me laugh, cry, be a better social worker and a better person overall.


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