How Do We Tell Our Children We Are Splitting? Gentle Guidance for Heartbroken Families
Few moments in family life are as heartbreaking as telling your children that you are separating. The words themselves are hard, but it’s what comes next—how you treat and respect each other—that shapes your children’s sense of safety and love. The Conversation: Gentle Honesty Start with simple, age-appropriate honesty. You might say: “Mum and Dad have decided not to live together anymore, but we both love you very much.” “We’re going to live in different houses, but you will always have both of us.” “This isn’t your fault. Grown-ups sometimes make big decisions, but we are both here for you.” Let children ask questions, and answer gently. It’s okay not to have all the answers—what matters most is that they feel heard and supported. Actions Speak Louder Than Words Telling your children is just the beginning. The real message comes from what they see and feel in the weeks and months that follow. Too often, we see parents say, “I respect your mum/dad,” but their behaviour tells a d...